Boy: I broke up with her.
Loved; || 6:15 AM

Here is the place where it always snows,
Loved; || 11:33 PM

I am envious of you White.

For you are a beauty.

Admired and liked by many.

How I wish I can be you.

For only then, will I be pretty to him.

Written By: Yours truly.

Loved; || 6:32 AM

When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly.

She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company.

She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane.

When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.

She requested that every day for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Jane about my wife's divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside
the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.

On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit me... she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy.

I drove to office.... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind...I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.

Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.

At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead.
My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push thru with the divorce.-- At least, in the eyes of our son--- I'm a loving husband....
Loved; || 11:27 PM

You are the boy who spent your school fees on $10 worth of chicken wings thereupon getting a spanking from your mother.
You are the boy who grew up to play games every week with fellow boys.
You are the boy who got a Xbox as an engagement present.
You are the boy who would eat like a boy if you lived alone, living on potato chips and Pepsi.
You are the boy who would like it very much if he didn't have to grow up.

You are, however, a boy who grew up to be a guy.

You are the guy whom she met at the pre-departure talk, who insulted her baby blue mobile phone in an attempt to get her phone number.
You are the guy who commented on how she stood like a dancer with her feet turned flat out.
You are the guy who apparently dedicated music to her over the radio and staked out the university just hoping you could catche a glimpse of her.
You are the guy who got lucky when you bumped into her at the traffic just outside university on the first day of school.
You are the guy who repeated her phone number all the way home just in case you forgot it and missed the chance again.
You are the guy who she ate out with on your first date.
You are the guy who had to bear all the crap when she couldn't decide who she liked better, you or some other guy back home.
You are the guy who won her heart by buying her gummi bears and walking her home from ballet in the cold.
You are the guy who she impressed by eating through half a bucket of fried chicken and then sat back and asked what's for desert.
You are the guy who had to be taught what relationships were and in turn taught her how to work hard in a relationship.
You are the guy who put your thesis on the back burner while she wigged out about her own thesis through the year.
You are the guy who proposed to her on the plane back to Melbourne and made her dizzy.

You are the guy who wanted to wear Bata shoes to the wedding and refused to be put into ill-fitting Kenneth Coles.
You are the one who got up there during your wedding and sang to your bride.
You are the guy who endured the pillows hurled at you in her sleep.
You are the guy who will go out there and look for yak's milk from Yemen if she ever demanded it.
You are the guy who buys her flowers and burns her cds just to make her smile.
You are the guy who believes, trusts and prays even when she has given up hope.
You are the guy of her dreams and her greatest fear is to live without you.

Loved; || 10:16 AM

10th Grade:-
As I sat there in English class,
I stared at the girl next to me.
She was my so called 'best friend'.
I stared at her long, silky hair,
and wished she was mine.
But she didn't notice me like that,
and I knew it.

After class,
she walked up to me and asked me for
the notes she had missed the day before.
I handed them to her.She said 'thanks'
and gave me a kiss on the cheek.
I want to tell her, I want her to know
that I don't want to be just friends,
I love her but I'm just too shy,
and I don't know why.


11th grade:-
The phone rang. On the other end,
it was her. She was in tears,
mumbling on and on about how
her love had broke her heart.
She asked me to come over
because she didn't want to be alone, So I did.
As I sat next to her on the sofa, I stared at her
soft eyes, wishing she was mine.

After 2 hours, one Drew Barrymore movie,
and three bags of chips,
she decided it's time for me to leave.
She looked at me, said 'thanks'
and gave me a kiss
on the cheek..I want to tell her,
I want her to know that
I don't want to be just friends,
I love her but I'm just too shy,
and I don't know why.


Senior year:-
One fine day she walked to my locker.
"My date is sick" she said,
"hes not gonna go" well,
I didn't have a date, and in 7th grade,
we made a promise that
if neither of us had dates,
we would go together as 'best friends'.
So we did.

That night, after everything was over,
I was standing at her front door step.
I stared at her as She smiled at me
and stared at me with her crystal eyes.
Then she said- "I had the best time, thanks!"
and gave me a kiss on the cheek.
I want to tell her,
I want her to know
that I don't want to be just friends,
I love her but I'm just too shy,
and I don't know why.


Graduation:-
A day passed, then a week, then a month.
Before I could blink, it was graduation day.
I watched as her perfect body
floated like an angel
up on stage to get her diploma.
I wanted her to be mine-but
she didn't notice me like that, and I knew it.

Before everyone went home,
she came to me in her smock and hat,
and cried as I hugged her.
Then she lifted her head from my shoulder
and said- 'you're my best friend,
thanks' and gave me a kiss on the cheek.
I want to tell her,
I want her to know
that I don't want to be just friends,
I love her but I'm just too shy,
and I don't know why.


Marriage:-
Now I sit in the pews of the church.
That girl is getting married now.
and drive off to her new life,
married to another man.
I wanted her to be mine,
but she didn't see me like that,
and I knew it.

But before she drove away,
she came to me and said 'you came !'.
She said 'thanks' and kissed me on the cheek.
I want to tell her,
I want her to know
that I don't want to be just friends,
I love her but I'm just too shy,
and I don't know why.


Death:-
Years passed, I looked down at the coffin
of a girl who used to be my 'best friend'.
At the service, they read a diary entry
she had wrote in her high school years.
This is what it read:
'I stare at him wishing he was mine,
but he doesn't notice me like that,
and I know it.
I want to tell him,
I want him to know that
I don't want to be just friends,
I love him but I'm just too shy,
and I don't know why.
I wish he would tell me he loved me !

.........
'I wish I did too...'
I thought to my self, and cried.
Loved; || 8:08 PM

"Look out!"
Joan turned but it was too late. The water bomb had splashed right into her face. She winced. That was cold, she thought. She reached out to wipe the water from her face. She and her friends were at Cindy's birthday party. The games had been fun, but tiring as well. She was glad when it was time to head for the refresments.
"Hey Joan!" Cindy called out.
Joan turned and saw Cindy dragging a 16 year old teenager behind her.
"Let me introduce my brother to you.He's Jason." she said.
Joan turned to look at the stranger for the first time. She gasped. Wasn't this the guy who had teased her everyday when he met her? She was stunned. "You..," was all she could manage to say.
But Jason grinned at her," So this is your friend. I think we met before, haven't we, Joan?"
Joan just stared at Cindy and her brother, nodding her head slowly.
"Oh, if that's the case, i shall leave you two to talk among yourselves," Cindy replied, walking away to entertain the rest of the guests.
"So..hi.," Jason said and smiled, showing his perfect set of white teeth.
"Oh, hello," Joan replied.She took her time to look at Jason. He had a set of deep blue coloured eyes, which reminded her of the ocean. He was tall and had blonde hair. Everything about him matched completely. He seemed..perfect. Too perfect. She would have believed in love at first sight if she didn't have a boyfriend. Too bad she did. And she wasn't going to show Jason that she was interested in him in any way.
"Got to go," Joan turned and left the party.
*****

The sunlight shone into her room. Joan woke up. School was starting again, and the summer holidays were over. No more daydreaming, she thought. Walking into the hall, she picked up the phone and dialed her boyfriend, Andy's number.
"Hello?"
"Hey, Andy?" Joan said.
"Um..Joan? What's up?"
"Can you pick me up in fifteen minutes time?"
"Huh?"
"I thought u said that you wanted to go to school with me today..?"
"Oh. Yeah. I sort of um, forgot. Something cropped up. Sorry honey."
Without another word, Andy hung up.
Well, that was weird, Joan thought. But she ignored that feeling as she believed Andy when he said that something had cropped up. She went to bathe, then she went to school by herself.
On reaching the school gate, she spotted a car that seemed familar to her. The car went into the school and parked itself in an empty spot. Andy got out of the car. Joan smiled and was about to call him when he went over to the passenger's seat and opened the door. A girl dressed in a sweater and a mini skirt stepped out. Joan gasped as the scene continued in front of her. Andy took the girl by her hand and they kissed each other. Joan could not believe what was going on. Is this a dream, or is this for real? She thought as she pinched herself. Ouch, that hurt, she thought. Knowing that she would have to confront Andy sooner or later, she walked up to the couple. Andy saw her and was shocked.
"I demand an explaination." Joan looked at him sternly.
"I--"
"So now you have seen it, and you should know what it means. He wants to break up with you. Get it?" The girl beside Andy interruped.
Joan was speechless. But knowing that she could not do anything about it, she just glared at Andy and ran away.
She ran, not knowing where she was heading to. She just kept running in the hallway. People stared at her. She knew why. Tears were streaming down her crimson cheeks. Her eyes were red and she looked unsightly. She saw a girls' toilet and went inside. Luckily for her, it was empty and she would not have to face any more stares for now. She washed her face and looked into the mirror.
"Joan, you're such a fool. You could have known that Andy is such a freak and he was cheating on you all the time. How could you have fallen into this dumb trap without knowing it?" She said to her reflection.
But the reflection just stared back at her. It gave no reply, and no expressions to show that it was angry. The tears came back.
*****

Joan stepped out of the toilet, feeling refreshed. She turned a corner and nearly banged into Jason.
"Whoa! Watch where you're going, will ya--" Jason stopped in mid sentence when he noticed that it was Joan. "Oh, hey, what's up?" Jason looked at Joan's gloomy face.
"Something happened?" He asked.
But Joan just turned and walked to her class.
*****

It was the last period.Jason couldn't concentrate in class. What was wrong with Joan? Why did she have to avoid him everytime? Maybe she already knew that he had fallen for her. But it was impossible. So far, Jason had not given out any hints to show that. Well, who knows? He thought. Humans are weird. He took out his notebook.

"Dear diary,
I am feeling troubled. I met her again today at the hallway. She looks kind of..sad. I wished I could help her in any way. But she seems to be avoiding me every time. I wished that i could hug her and tell her that everything is gonna be okay. But i can't do that. She doesn't feel the same way towards me like what i feel towards her. It's one-sided love. I want to be with her. Will that dream ever come true one day?"

He closed the notebook. School was over. He picked up his bag and drove home.
*****

Jason rushed to his room and turned on his computer. Everyday after school, he would never fail to see his pen-pal, "Candy Dreams" online. He had never met her before, but she had been a good friend to him all these while.

[Dotty] says: Hi!
[Candy Dreams] says: Hi! I've been waiting for you to come online.
[Dotty] says: Haha..first time hearing you say that.
[Candy Dreams] says: Anyway..i and my boyfriend broke up..
[Dotty] says: Huh? What happened? Are you feeling okay?
[Candy Dreams] says: I wished i hadn't been so childish to have liked him in the first place..
[Dotty] says: Don't be silly. You didn't know this would happen anyway.
[Candy Dreams] says: But i feel so stupid..I can't seem to forget him.
[Dotty] says: You just have to remember..time heals all wounds..
[Candy Dreams] says: Thanks..i really appreciate that.
[Candy Dreams] says: Anyway, enough about me. So what's going on between you and your dream girl?
[Dotty] says: Well..i met her again today.
[Candy Dreams] says: And?
[Dotty] says: Same old thing. She avoided me. But i couldn't help noticing how sad she looked.
[Candy Dreams] says: Maybe she doesn't know how you feel about her..i think you should tell her.
[Dotty] says: No, I dun plan to tell her. I rather things remain this way..
[Dotty] says: I feel that..Just as long as she is happy, I will feel the same way.To me, love is about happiness.I just want to be a friend to her..
[Candy Dreams] says: Whoa, I'd feel lucky if i were her..She has no idea how great you are..
[Candy Dreams] says: I wished my boyfriend was like that..
[Dotty] says: True love will come to you one day too. Dun worry..
[Candy Dreams] says: Hope so. Anyway, gtg. Cya!
[Dotty] says: Cya!
[Candy Dreams has logged off]
*****

Joan felt better. Maybe time really would heal all wounds. She reached into her drawer and took out her diary.

"Dear Diary,
I feel a lot better after talking to my friend. Sometimes i feel that he's like a soul mate to me. Well anyway, maybe things will get a lot better. It isn't time for me to brood about this stuff anymore. I have to forget about Andy. Actually, you know what? I have a little feeling for Jason too. But i'm not gonna go into another relationship so soon..And i can't guarantee than Jason feels the same way. Who knows what will happen in the future?"

*****

Jason stepped into the school, feeling fresh after a morning bath. He walked up to his classroom, meeting Joan on the way. To his suprise, she smiled at him, showing a perfect pair of dimples. Jason grinned and fluffed her hair as they walked past each other. He continued on his way, smiling to himself all the time. He felt warm. She had actually smiled at him! It was such a great feeling to know that he had actually existed in Joan's life.
During break time, Jason saw Joan and decided to strike up a conversation to see whether she would respond.
"Um..so..hi," Jason stammered.
"Hey!" Joan greeted cheerfully, laughing as she did so.
Jason felt surprised and warm at her friendly greeting. She looks so cute when she laughs, he thought.
"Care to eat with me?" Jason asked hopefully
"Sure!" was Joan's joyful response.
*****

After eating his dinner, Jason went to his room and took out his notebook.

"Dear Diary,
I had a great lunch today. Perhaps that was because of her presence. She smiled at me for the first time today.. I felt warm. It makes me more unwilling to confess my true feelings to her as i am afraid that she would avoid me. I rather she treat me this way, just like a close friend whom she can share her thoughts to. I don't want to do something that I will regret later. Maybe it would be best if the situation remains like this.."

Jason closed his notebook silently. The day after would be international friendship day. He decided to buy a present for Joan.
*****

"Hi!" Joan called out.
Jason turned around.
"Hey girl," He grinned.
Joan smiled. He had no idea how his heart-stopping grin seem to be of a comfort to her.
"So, what's going on?" Joan asked.
"Haha, same old thing. I can't figure out a thing the algebra teacher is talking about."
"Did u always have a problem with algebra? You could have told me earlier!"
"Don't tell me i'm talking to an algebra expert?" Jason asked.
"Haha.. Well, i wouldn't call myself that. But i get As for my algebra. It's my favourite subject."
"Hey! That's cool! Would you be willing to teach me?"
"Sure! In fact, I'm free after school today. You?"
"Me too. Meet you in the library after school?"
"Okay. See ya later then," Joan replied.
They then parted, walking different directions towards their classrooms.Suddenly, Jason turned around.
"Hey," He called out.
"Yeah?" Joan turned.
"Thanks..for being such a friend. I really appreciate that,"
"Hey, you're a great friend yourself too," Joan smiled.
They continued on their own way. Maybe there is hope for both of us..? No, I shouldn't be thinking like this. But..i actually have the feeling that i miss him.. Joan thought. Clutching her books tightly towards her chest, she walked into the classroom, put her things down and took out her diary.

"Dear Diary,
What is going on? What is wrong with me..? Why is it that I long to be with him but yet i am trying my best not to like him..? Is this love? I wished he was here right now, beside me. I want to be with him so badly, but he seems to treat me only as a close friend. That's all. A close friend. I want to be someone more than a close friend to him. But maybe that is not so possible after all.."

*****

"Dear Diary,
Is that all i really mean to her? A 'great friend' ? I want to be more than a great friend to her. But it seems that she only treats me as a friend. I don't know how to tell her how much i want to be with her. Maybe waiting would be my only option.. Is this love?"

Jason rested his head on his hands and re-read the entry he had just written into his notebook. He sighed. Maybe love isn't so great after all..
*****

Joan waved at Jason to signal him to come over to the table she was sitting at. Jason jogged over and pulled out a chair to make himself comfortable.
"Had a great lunch?" Joan asked.
"Yeah.."
"Okay.. I guess we can start on our work then," Joan said.
Throughout the whole afternoon, Joan spent her time explaining to Jason and teaching him all the problems which he didn't know how to solve. She was disappointed when it was time to go home. But she refused to show her true feelings to Jason and put on a brave front instead.
"So..if you have any other questions..feel free to find me," She smiled.
"Thanks," Jason answered.
They left the library, each going their own separate way.
*****

Joan rushed to her room, dumped her bag aside, and turned on her computer. Dotty was online! She couldn't wait to tell him what had happened recently.

[Candy Dreams] says: Hey!!
[Dotty] says: Hi!
[Candy Dreams] says: Sorry I'm late..
[Dotty] says: Haha, no problem, I just signed in not long ago too.
[Candy Dreams] says: Okay..
[Dotty] says: So what's up?
[Candy Dreams] says: I seem to have fallen for someone else...
[Dotty] says: That's great. Maybe that person would treat your better than how your ex did..
[Candy Dreams] says: I don't even know whether he feels the same way..
[Dotty] says: Hey, remember the advice you gave me? Why don't you tell the guy?
[Candy Dreams] says: Me? No way. I wouldn't want to break a friendship.
[Dotty] says: But did you give him any hints?
[Candy Dreams] says: Nah.. I think he only treats me as a close friend..
[Dotty] says: Don't be so sad..
[Candy Dreams] says: I'm alright. Thanks.. I gtg anyway. I'm tired. Off to sleep!=)
[Dotty] says: Haha..maybe you should be called Candy Pig huh?
[Candy Dreams] says: Hey! Too tired to argue with you anymore. Good night!
[Candy Dreams has logged off]

Joan smiled to herself. Sometimes, Dotty had such humor that she was unable to resist. He would always make her smile even after a tired day. Time to sleep, she thought.
*****

Jason clutched the present tightly in his hand. It was International friendship day and he had gotten a present for Joan. He made his way to her classroom.
"Joan?"
She turned. Jason was standing at the doorway of her classroom.
"Hey. Nice to see ya," she responded.
"So um..here's a present for you. Friends forever.."
Joan was surprised. She had gotten a present for Jason too.
"Wait here," she told him.
Awhile later, Joan returned, holding a box tied with a silver ribbon.
"Here," she said.
They exchanged their presents with each other.
"Thanks for being such a good friend to me. Friends forever..," Joan smiled at Jason.
Once again, Jason was struck by her smile. He just stared at her with a kind of sadness in his eyes. This girl can never be mine, he thought. He grinned at Joan and waved goodbye to her before going back to his classroom.
*****
Joan returned to her seat. She stared at the lavender box in her hand. What could be in it? she thought. opening the box, she saw a silver bracelet lying among the soft cotton. She picked it up. It's beautiful, she thought. She gazed at it for awhile before putting it back into the box. Taking out her diary, she wrote:

"Dear Diary,
He gave me a bracelet. And it's..really beautiful..I hope he likes the present i gave him too.. But i don't understand. Does he just treat me as a friend? I want to be more than a friend to him. But it's so hard to tell him. I just seem to lose my words when looking at him. He's my angel. My love. But he'll never get to know that..I'll never find the courage to tell him.."

The teacher came in. Joan closed her book quickly and put in in her bag. Who is this cute guy beside the teacher? She thought. Awhile later, the guy was introduced as Dave. He had just transferred from another school and Joan was assigned to help him around the school. Thus, Dave was to sit beside her. The other girls stared at Joan with envy. But Joan..her thoughts were all filled of Jason..
*****

"Dear Diary,
She gave me a wallet. That was sweet of her. I love the present she gave me..i hope she likes the one i gave her too..I don't understand. Does she treat me only as a friend? She means much more to me than that. But she doesn't know. And she never will..cos i won't have the courage to tell her.."
*****

Just as Joan was walking down the hallway, a voice stopped her.
"Um..hi."
She turned her head. Wasn't that Dave?
"Hey. You got problems with your work?"
"Er..actually yea.sort of.Are u able to go through some notes with me tomorrow?"
"Tomorrow..yea i think i'll be free."
"Okay..we'll study at my house? My parents will be home, so don't worry."
"Haha.I'm not gonna worry with an honest guy like you. see ya tomorrow then!"
Joan walked off.
Dave stared at her. She's wonderful, he thought. And i'm in love with her.
*****

Joan threw her bag onto the bed and turned on the computer immediately.
A new contact had added her.
"Who's this guy..?" She said to herself.
dave_jones@hotmail.com
Sounds familiar, she thought.

[Dave] says: Hey..are u Joan?
[Candy Dreams] says: Yea..u are Dave?
[Dave] says: Haha. The one and only.
[Candy Dreams] says: Okae. So how did u get my add?
[Dave] says: Well. thru a senior..
[Candy Dreams] says: Haha, well okae. these things happen all the time anyway.
[Dave] says: So are u still on for tomorrow?
[Candy Dreams] says: Yea sure. I'm supposed to help u anyway.
[Dave] says: Ok. Hey look, i gtg. Cya tomorrow then.
[Candy Dreams] says: Yep..cya.good nite.
[Dave has logged off]

[Dotty has logged on]
[Candy Dreams] says: Hiyahh~
[Dotty] says: Heyyz.
[Candy Dreams] says: Haha. I had a great day and i'm soo happie!!
[Dotty] says: Hmm..looks like something happened huh.
[Candy Dreams] says: He gave me a present!!
[Dotty] says: Sounds familar..haha..anyway, what is it?
[Candy Dreams] says: Secret..
[Dotty] says: Oh well.Haha.Hmm..Candy?
[Candy Dreams] says: Yeah?
[Dotty] says: Do you want to meet up?
[Candy Dreams] says: Um..well..i'm nort sure..u want?
[Dotty] says: I'm not sure too..but i reallie want to meet up with u.
[Candy Dreams] says: Me too. Well in that case..how about next wednesday?
[Dotty] says: No problem. Meet at?
[Candy Dreams] says: Hmm..you know that place Dolphino?8pm?
[Dotty] says: Yeah sure. I gtg. See you soon..
[Candy Dreams] says: Haha.I'm looking forward to meeting u too. See ya..
[Dotty has logged off]

*****

Joan stood at the steps of Dave's house, clutching her books. She pressed the bell. Dave opened the door.
"Hey," Joan said.
"Well, come in."
Dave led Joan to the living room, where his parents were at.
"Hi auntie and uncle," Joan greeted them politely.
They smiled at her and nodded.
"So where are we supposed to study?" Joan asked Dave.
"At the dining room. Come on."
They walked to the dining room and sat down. Then, Joan taught Dave all the subjects which he had problems in. The time passed quickly and it was time for Joan to leave.
"Bye. See you in school tomorrow," Joan said and left his house.
Dave, you're so stupid, you could have asked her to stay awhile more, he thought. Oh well.
*****

[Candy Dreams has logged on]
[Dave] says: Hi!
[Candy Dreams] says: Hey.
[Dave] says: Um..i got something to tell you.
[Candy Dreams] says: Haha, what is it?
[Dave] says: Well um..
[Candy Dreams] says: Yeah?
[Dave] says: I..i like you.
[Candy Dreams] says: Huh?
[Dave] says: I know you probably don't feel the same way..But i reallie like u alot and i'm gonna try to win your heart..i hope you won't stop me..cya.
[Candy Dreams] says: Well..
[Dave has logged off]

What's going on? Joan thought. Is he kidding or what? I just knew him a few days ago and he likes me? Is that a joke? Well. Guys.
*****

Jason went to his room to do his homework. When he sat down at his chair, he suddenly remembered that he left his pen with his sister. He went to her room to take it.
Seeing that his pen was on her table, he decided that he didn't need her permission to take something that was his. He was just about to leave when a piece of paper on the desk caught his attention. He picked it up.
candy_dreams@hotmail.com
Isn't that..
No it couldn't be.
But..how did my sis know candy dreams? He thought.
Wanting to solve this unanswered question, he took the piece of paper and went to the living room to ask his sister.
"Cindy!" Jason called.
"What's up bro," Cindy replied.
"Who is this person? How did u get her email add?"
"Don't be silly. Isn't that Joan? You know her. She was at my birthday party, remember?" Cindy casually replied.
"Huh? That Joan? Oh..thanks." Jason returned the paper to his sister.
He went back to his room and turned on his computer.
No wonder everything that happened to her seemed so familiar to me..but..should i let her know who I am? I don't want to. I want to take hold of this chance to get to know her better..But..we're supposed to meet next week..what should i do..? Jason was lost in his thoughts.

[Candy Dreams has logged on]
[Dotty] says: Hey..
[Candy Dreams] says: Hiyahhz
[Dotty] says: Um..i don't think i'll be able to meet u next week..I'm going out..
[Candy Dreams] says: Oh..in that case..it's alright..
[Dotty] says: I'm sorry..
[Candy Dreams] says: It's reallie okay. We can always find some other time to meet up rite?
[Dotty] says: Um well..i'll be kind of busy for the next few months..
[Candy Dreams] says: Okay then..we'll talk about it again when you're free..
[Dotty] says: Okay..
[Candy Dreams] says: Yeah..
[Dotty] says: Why aren't u talking..?
[Candy Dreams] says: I'm just kind of disappointed..but it's okay reallie.
[Dotty] says: Oh..
[Dotty] says: Well, never mind. I think i will be able to meet u afterall.
[Candy Dreams] says: Huh?
[Dotty] says: Um..i jus remembered that it's thursday i'm going out on. Shesh.i can get pretty forgetful sometimes u know..
[Candy Dreams] says: Really?That's great!=).Hey, i gotta go. Cya! Night.
[Candy Dreams has logged off]

"Dear Diary,
I feel like such a liar.But i still had to meet her in the end. I can't bear to see her upset. It really hurts. It makes me sad to see her disappointed like just now.. Anyway it's just a meeting with her right? Why am i being such a coward? But..i don't want her to know. I really want to get to know her well.."
*****

Dave entered the classroom with a box of chocolates in his hands. He smiled at Joan and passed her the box.
"Huh? Is that for me?" Joan asked.
"Yep.Hope you'll accept it."
"But..i can't.."
"Please..just give me a chance to prove that i can love u like anyone else does..," Dave said sincerely, looking at Joan.
"Oh well..Okay.."
Joan felt touched. Was this how it felt like to be loved by someone else? She smiled gratefully at him.

"Dear Diary,
It's been a few days since i last saw Jason. I wonder what he's doing right now..? Dave is being pretty sweet to me. He's a nice guy. Well, i'm not considering anything though. Am i? Nah..don't think so. I'm meeting Dotty tomorrow. I'm so excited. I've known him for a year and tomorrow will be the first time i'm meeting him. Hope everything goes well.."

"Joan?"
Joan quickly shut her book.
"Yea?" She said to Dave.
"Are you free tonight? Do you want to go watch a movie?"
"Um well..alright." Joan decided that there couldn't be much harm done in watching a movie with Dave.
"I'll pick u up at 7pm then?"
"Yep."
*****

A car arrived outside Joan's house at 7pm sharp. The doorbell rang and Joan ran to open the door. "Hey, you're punctual!" She commented. Dave led Joan to the car. They soon reached the cinema. But everything passed quickly and they had watched finish the touching romance movie. Dave sent her home.

"Dear Diary,
Is it possible that I like Dave? He makes me feel wanted. Makes me feel loved. I don't feel like waiting for Jason anymore when there's someone like Dave who is willing to spent his time loving me. But.I don't know.How am i supposed to feel now? I'm confused ever since Dave came into my life.. Sometimes i feel that i like him. But sometimes i miss Jason.A lot.I don't know.."

Joan sighed.It's so hard to tell my own feelings, she thought.

[Dave has logged on]
[Dave] says: Hi
[Candy Dreams] says: Hiya
[Dave] says: Um.
[Candy Dreams] says: ?
[Dave] says: Can you be my girlfriend?
[Candy Dreams] says: Um..
[Dave] says: I know u need time to decide.I'll give u time.But please give me a chance..
[Candy Dreams] says: Okay..how bout trying out? I know it's not reallie the same but i'm sort of confused right now..maybe trying out will help solve this.
[Dave] says: If that's what u want..alright..but i'm happy as long as you're willing to do that.
[Candy Dreams] says: Kae.i gtg.. Cya tml.
[Candy Dreams has logged off]

What have i done? She thought. Do i really like him? Oh well. I've already done it. Nothing can change. Anyway i sort of like him..right? Yea.
*****

The day passed quickly. Finally it was an hour before meeting Dotty. Joan was feeling pretty excited. She decided to go early just to be on the safe side. She had told Dotty her hand phone number and told him to call her when he reached. Soon, Joan reached Dolphino.
*****

Jason was driving to Dolphino.He had tried to dial Joan's number to tell him that he might be late but she seemed to have turned off her hand phone. He fixed his attention on his hand phone instead of the road and dialed her number again. Then, he heard a scream. He looked up from his hand phone to see a child standing in the middle of the road. He swerved to avoid hitting him and hit onto a tree. Everything blackened out. He couldn't feel anything..
*****

Joan had been waiting for half an hour now. She was getting impatient but still, she had to wait for Dotty's call. She took out her hand phone to see if there were any missed calls. Huh? She thought. She had turned off her hand phone without realizing it. No wonder there were no calls for her. It's all my fault, she thought. I hope Dotty calls again.
*****

Jason awoke to find himself in a hospital bed. A sharp pain in his leg caused him to wince.
"Quick, find someone with the same blood type as this guy!!" a voice said.
"Wait!" Jason heard himself saying.
The doctor and the nurses stopped in their tracks to look at Jason.
"I know I'm dying soon..don't stop me..I just need a pen and paper..please.." Both items were passed to him a minute later. Using all the strength he had left, he wrote a letter to Joan. After he had finished writing, he gave Joan's number to the nurse and told her to call Joan to the hospital to collect the letter.
Jason felt tired. He decided to go to sleep. Maybe that would stop all the pain. Without realizing it, he felt himself drifting apart from the world..
*****

An hour later, Joan was still standing outside Dolphino. Suddenly, her phone rang.
"Hello?" Joan said.
"Is this Joan? I am calling from the hospital. A guy who identifies himself as Jason has asked u to come to the hospital to collect a letter." The voice replied.
"I'll be right over."
*****

Joan walked to the reception counter.
"Hi..I'm Joan. There's supposed to be a letter for me..?"
The nurse on duty looked up.
"Oh yah. Here you go." She passed a piece of paper to Joan.
Joan took it and walked down the corridor, reading the letter..:

"Hey..candy pig..
well..are u surprised that i know this nickname that was given to u by Dotty? I do not want to hide it anymore..i am dotty..i just knew that u were candy dreams a few days ago too. that was why i was so afraid of letting u see who i am..
by the time u received this letter..i probably won't be in this world anymore..i'll be somewhere else..far far away..away from all this pain.it hurts too much to continue living. i have loved u the moment i saw u, Joan. But you only treated me as a good friend..it hurts. Every time u say "thanks for being such a good friend", it's like a stab to my heart. I want u to treat me more than a friend. but it's so hard to say so..i have never confessed my feelings to you..for fear of being rejected.now that i'm leaving this world..perhaps it won't be so hard to tell u anymore..
anyway...i heard that you and Dave are going steady. Is that true? If it is..congratulations to u.. maybe you would be happier and more fortunate. Dave would surely treat u better than your ex.I'm happy for u. I told myself..as long as u find your happiness..i will give you my blessings..cos i learn that loving someone is not about holding on..it's about making her happy. I'm glad that i spent my lifetime knowing you. I have never regretted knowing you because you gave me happiness..a kind of happiness that no one else is able to provide me with..i know u don't feel the same way..but it's okay..i just want u to be happy..
I'll be ending my letter than..bye..my leaf..
From: Jason a.k.a Dotty...=).."

A tear dropped on the paper.
*****

Joan rushed to the reception again.
"Which room is Jason in?" She asked.
"Room 169. But be quick. The doctors are going to carry his body away soon."
Joan ran all the way to Room 169, still clutching the letter. She peered into the glass window that separated both her and Jason. There he was, lying in the bed. He's not here anymore..she thought.
Wait,i don't understand. Why did he call me his leaf in the letter? Joan thought.
Glancing down on the paper, She saw the small words that was written at the corner of the paper.
"Leaf's departure is because of Wind's pursuit? Or because Tree didn't ask her to stay..?"
She was touched. Two tears rolled down her crimson cheeks.

"Tree didn't ask her to stay.." She whispered.
*****

Author: Jasmine Tan
Loved; || 6:03 PM

In memory of these beautiful stories.
[FrostedHeart]
email. || facebook.

Chikuda Cho

Memories November 2005
July 2006
September 2006
July 2007
August 2007
September 2007
October 2007
November 2007
February 2008
June 2008
December 2008
August 2009
June 2010
August 2010
July 2011
September 2011
October 2011
">

Layout by : N-serendipity.
Icons by : Black-balloonxx.
Floral Patterns : Blue_mutzz.